We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
