It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have feelings that need drinking.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
