hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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