I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
