Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
