but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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