They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
