Midget sex pt 2 tonight
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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