Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize