He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
