I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize