Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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