Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
