This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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