yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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