the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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