he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
