i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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