The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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