woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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