Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize