I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
