So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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