And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
