ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
