Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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