I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
