Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
