just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize