We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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