I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
