im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The air was thick with penises
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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