Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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