So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
