god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
