who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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