it's too hot outside to masturbate.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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