on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
