I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
