yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
