Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
