Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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