I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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