did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
