There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
