Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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