no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
