What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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