he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
