Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
