But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
