Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
