Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
