no, he came in my armpit
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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