i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
