so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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