you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
