Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize