Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
