He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
