she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize