I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
