She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
