i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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