I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
