So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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