Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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