She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Please don't give away my fajitas
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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