i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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