is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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