hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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