i permit you to call me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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