thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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