He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize