Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
