its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
