Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
